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Thursday 8 September 2011

7 unsung heroes from the Star Wars Prequel trilogy

After reading this article on Dorkly, which I found very amusing and allowed me solace in the fact that there are other Star Wars nerds in the universe, I thought I'd write my own article stating some more unsung heroes from the Star Wars PREQUEL trilogy. You may be interested, you may not, who cares. I sent it to Dorkly anyway, though I doubt they'll put it in.


7. Captain Tarpals


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Darth Sidious, General Grievous, and even Darth Maul cannot compare that the fear that every Jedi, droid and Star Wars fan would feel when trapped in an elevator with no other than Jar Jar Binks. Yet not all Gungans were annoyingly useless halfwits; enter Captain Tarpals. This guy not only fought in the 'lets send the indigenous lackeys to go and fight an army of merciless droids, armed with blue balls (maybe not the best description)', but he fought in this battle with Jar Jar Binks. He even risked his own life to save Binks, falling off his own trusty steed in his effort to rescue a fool who somehow was given the privilege of a leading role in the Gungan army. Yes, he didn't take down a ATAT tank, and yes he didn't somehow fool droids into shooting each other, but he was ready to go down fighting when he was finally surrounded, and would have too if good ol' Binks hadn't uttered the timeless Gungan slogan; 'My give up, my give up'. And who gets to be the Gungan representative in the Galactic Senate? Boss Nass? No, frickin' Jar Jar Binks...and look how that turned out.



6. Cliegg Lars

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So while Anakin Skywalker decided to fulfil his promise to his mother Shmi of 'coming back to free her' a good decade later, Cliegg Lars actually did the real work. Buying the slave from Watto and subsequently freeing her must've been some real heart-of-gold stuff. Yes, he then married her, but hey, moisture farming is a dull business. Not only that, but when she was abducted by Sand People, Cliegg rode out with a group of settlers and  tried to rescue her, losing his right leg in the process! And what does Anakin do to repay the man that did so much for his only familial link? Why, he burdens Cliegg's son with one of his children, who does nothing but complain about living with them, and eventually abandons them to be burnt alive by Stormtroopers...under Anakin's payroll...goddamnit.

5. Chewbacca - again

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The Clone Wars seemed to hit everywhere, and it was a particular delight for fans to have part of Episode 3 take place on Kashyyyk to see some badass Wookie's bring the pain to Separatist Droids. Alas, it was also where unfortunately Order 66 was initiated, turning Clones on their former allies to take out the big cheese of the Jedi; Master Yoda. And who sprung to Yoda's aid? The Yoda that eventually trained the Jedi who defeated the Empire? Chewbacca and his trusted furry friend Tarfful, that's who. And what does he get in return when he successfully leads Yoda to a handy escape shuttle? "Good friends you are. Miss you I will." Gee, thanks Yoda, couldn't have squeezed me in there too huh? Do you know that Chewbacca then eventually was brought into slavery under the Empire? This coupled with his lack of a medal just shows how much patience this 'walking carpet' really has.

4. Kit Fisto

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Okay, so if you take a look at some of the other canon Star Wars works, such as the cartoon shows and graphic novels; you'll see that Kit Fisto has quite a following. But in the films, he has very limited screen time despite some pretty important acts in the Clone Wars. We first see him properly in the rescue of Obi Wan and Anakin on Genosis, where he was able to use his initiative to save yet another annoying character; C-3PO from being hacked by a stray lightsaber. After continuing his assault in this battle and many more to come, he ascended to a position on the Jedi Council. Pretty sweet recognition I guess, but then, as faithful as ever, he accompanies Mace Windu in an attempt to apprehend Darth Sidious. And it is here that he meets his unfortunate demise. The kicker? Mace Windu is heralded as, like, the best duellist in the Jedi Order. Kit Fisto wasn't the only Jedi to accompany him, and two other Jedi died before he did. What the heck was Mace Windu doing? Psyching himself up? Maybe he wanted the glory for himself, but you can bet that if it had at least been Kit Fisto alongside Windu in that fateful battle, Anakin would have arrived to find Palpatine's head being kicked around by a smiling green alien and Samuel L Jackson.

3. Zett Jukassa

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I admit, I had to Wookieepeida who this guy actually was, but this little padawan managed to save another unsung hero - Bail Organa.Okay, you can argue that actually the Clones weren't intending on harming Organa, but that doesn't lessen young Jukassa's feat. Upon seeing the Senator touch down outside the Jedi Temple, Zett fought his way through eight troopers to try to reach him before being gunned down. This kid was sixteen years old, sixteen! Yeah, Anakin took out a Control Centre at ten years old, but Zett's still pretty badass. You know what might have helped? Bail Organa not being a complete tool and running away; would have had one more angry Jedi to grow up wanting to get back at the Empire. The Empire Strikes Back could have been a whole lot different if Luke had touched down on Dagobah to find Yoda already with his Jedi underling Zett Jukassa at his side.

2. Sabé

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I don't know about you, but actually Queen Amidala is not all that. I mean the REAL Amidala; Padmé. What sort of Queen has a double step in to take all the flak from would-be-assassins and the like while she goes gallivanting around Tatooine because she's 'curious about the planet'? No, no, Sabé was the real badass, along with all the other handmaidens trained to protect their wussy Queen who ends up marrying the next Dark Lord of the Sith. Sabé's only reward is being able to make her Queen clean up R2-D2, other than that she's forced to wear uncomfortable dresses and ridiculous Pikachu-inspired make-up. She helps in the assault at the end of the first film, even saving Padmé again when she got her stupid ass captured. How did she run around the entire palace in full Queen gear, make-up and everything, and STILL manage to evade capture longer than Padmé and her crew? And in the end she gets no recognition whatsoever, the biggest blow being when they implore for the aid of the Gungans in the final battle. I'm pretty sure Sabé had it under control, but who had to suddenly break character in Sabé's only minute of glory? One-upping her again, good ol' Padmé.


Point of interest; played by none other than Keira Knightley...whaddya know?

1. R2-D2

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I know, I know, everyone loves R2, but the characters sure don't. I think we need to be reminded what this little astromech droid actually did in the prequel trilogy, while the other characters called for help and in some cases even shouted impatiently because the little guy couldn't work fast enough. So, here we go;
- he raised the shields of the ship in the escape from Naboo, and what did he get? A free cleaning...before landing down on the dustiest planet in the galaxy.
- he projected the plans for the assault on Theed. Didn't here anyone give him a thankyou for the presentation, did you?
- let's be honest, he kept Anakin alive when the kid got stuck in that starfighter; keeping his cool even when INSIDE an enemy ship to fix Anakin's impressive crash landing
- the dude flew, yes FLEW to save Padmé from being burnt to a crisp on Genosis...THANKS!?
- he trundled through the middle of a warzone to reattach C-3PO's head to his body, with no weapons of his own...Saving Private Ryan can suck it
- he again accompanied Anakin into an enemy ship to save Senator Palpatine, in the process single handedly defeating two Separatist Droids with nothing but oil and a bunsen burner, and finally providing the distraction needed for Obi Wan and Anakin to break free from capture and attempt to subdue General Grievous, followed by assisting the hapless Jedi in a crash landing on Coruscant.
The only justice R2-D2 gets is being fobbed off at the end of the trilogy to another unsung hero, Raymus Antilles, who as we know from the original trilogy, was a worthy master.



See this for more thoughts on R2-D2....



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