Alex Reviews

Star Wars: Blu-Ray Edition

Episode II: The Attack of the Clones (2002)

Spoiler alert up above, by the way

So, after Phantom Menace which received generally little praise, we got Attack of the Clones which introduced us to more Jedi, more planets, and more of an insight into the origins of Darth Vader. In terms of the Blu-Ray edition, there isn't much of a difference apart from better picture and sound quality, and a few minor enhancements to the story; nothing major, and nothing to get your Yoda-print knickers in a twist about.

There are only a few issues I have with this entry in the Star Wars saga; just little things that puzzle me, and nothing to take away from the larger scale battles and introduction of some of the cooler characters from the prequel saga. We get Jango Fett; father of the ever popular Boba Fett, Mace Windu; kicking ass with a purple lightsaber, and Count Dooku; who may not be as kick-ass as Darth Maul...but come on, it's Christopher Lee!

The first grievance I have is with Padmé...actually, it isn't a grievance, I'm not complaining...you'll see what I mean. So she's a senator now and blahdeblah, and people are still trying to kill her for being too hot or whatever, so she has to go into hiding on her homeworld of Naboo (yeah, they'd never think to look there) with good ol' Anakin Skywalker at her side. During this time is when the young duo start to develop feelings for each other, frolicking in the grass, having picnics, etc. But, hold on, Padmé doesn't want to get involved with Anakin, what with him being a Jedi and she being a Senator. Fine, but did she have to tell him this while in some tight, black, bust-exemplifying dress? Not only that, but from this agonising rejection onwards (oh yeah, Anakin poured his heart out to this minx), Padmé seems to wear whatever clothing she feels most inappropriate around her Jedi chum. Bear in mind that generally, Jedi are supposed to be like monks and nuns...all about the faith, no real fun stuff, especially in the bedroom department. It can't help that some fine-ass woman is prancing around with her midriff on show and without the invention of a space-bra. Look at this!

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 Why do you even have this in your wardrobe, and more importantly, why did you decide to bring it along with you on your adventure? But hey, seriously not complaining, when I first watched this I must've been 12 years old...yeah.

My other issue is the Clone Troopers. They are badass, don't get me wrong, but they did raise a load of questions about Stormtroopers and clones in general;

- With the Stormtroopers...are they all clones too? This growth acceleration thing that one of those Kamino aliens blabbered on about, wouldn't that mean they'd mostly have died by A New Hope? Why did they change their kickass armour to something much less effective, it would seem?
- And cloning? Well, cloning has been touched upon in Star Wars fiction outside of the films, and in some cases, not very successfully. Apparently, even the Emperor was cloned, continuing to try and rid the universe of Luke Skywalker even after death. Weird huh?

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And finally the last thing, which again isn't really an issue as without it there wouldn't be much of a story, but executions? The whole execution scene seems weird for Count Dooku, who out of the Sith who appear in the prequels, seems the most mature. Not only that, but he knows what he's dealing with - Jedi. Why even go to the bother of setting wild animals on them; they have the Force! You know, that all powerful thing that is the whole point of being a Jedi? Jango Fett showed us that he was quite capable of shooting down a Jedi, I'm sure Dooku could have arranged for a quicker and more certain death.

But anyway, I like this film, Yoda's little battle is a mixture of hilarity and heroism, and yes, Padmé is hot. I'm not a massive fan of Obi-Wan Kenobi's hairstyle though...

May the Force be with you.